filler

long gaps are my thing. we've been touring the last month pretty relentlessly. while in motion i find it impossible to write anything meaningful, or document much at all beyond my memory. as i get older i want to discipline myself out of this.


my boy turned 2. here's a picture from when he wasn't even 1. time is not stopping for me or for you, in fact it is speeding up to accommodate them who be next.

but yes, home again. brilliant yellow and orange was dashed abruptly with a wicked blizzard in maine. and the snow is still crunchy-- this early in the year.

what made these shows interesting was the idea they are the last for milo for quite awhile. something occurred in the last two years that jus... makes the project ring hollow for me on stage. it isn't right. something is missing. i've outgrown the work perhaps or the original motivations, i'm not sure. but i struggle with feeling insincere on stage as milo and at that point i knew i had to devise an exit strategy. the relationship of performer to audience at this time is antagonistic to me. i am changing and have to take this into consideration with the practice and execution of my "craft".

upcoming is the last region of the united states to dig into: the middle west and north, where i am from. and where the project "milo" originates. i'm eager to properly bury this part of my artistic career. the name is feckless at the time i was enamored that it was terse and relatively meaningless. now i see it as a bizarre european placeholder and that it is meaningless bothers me when it used to provide a comfort.

i feel without name. but even that lane is occupied, heh.

now the job is to stay open and use my training for good. maybe take my practice to a new medium. perhaps run the shop for awhile and let my potbelly get wider. i'm getting bored of vinyl tho too. a cafe interests me most, a place that has breakfast and lunch, with a lovely big gleaming espresso machine and board games. i don't know. maybe i'll drop a mixtape next month.

fickle as ever
jus like the wind

yours,
rf